In late December, we learned 2019 was going to kick off just the way we had hoped and prayed. After over a year of trying,  we were pregnant! Those two lines on the pregnancy test sent me spinning into a million happy tears, and I was overjoyed that Crue would be welcoming a brother or […]

Our backbone

We didn’t get much sleep that first night home. The house seemed so empty. I had always dreamed of raising a family there. The night before Nash died, Todd and I had talked about having another child. We wanted Nash to have that buddy for life. I joked, telling Todd that I could just hear […]

Going home

We decided in the hospital parking lot to head to my in-laws’ house. It’s always been where everyone gathers for holidays, birthday parties, or just to hang out. I thought it was a great idea. I didn’t want to face our home yet and see all of Nash’s toys. When we got there, my friends Shawn […]

The aftermath

As I rocked Nash, I searched Todd’s face for his reaction. His eyes said it all, this combination of pure horror and questioning. He had his hands on his head, shaking his head no…like he just didn’t understand. He went back and forth between that silent look into space and saying that he was going […]

Being Nash’s Mommy

I would say that when Nash was around two months old we started settling into our roles as parents. We knew what made him tick; we were starting to know his cries. We no longer complained about how it was a total event that had to be thought out and planned just to run to […]