One of my favorite movies of all time is, The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood. It’s a movie following the lives of four girlfriends. Their lives all have horrific tragedies, pain, love, and loss and the only thing that stays the same in their lives is their friendship with one another. I used to tell my friends in high school which girl each reminded me of. If you have girlfriends, and you watch this movie, you realize they all represent someone you know. What’s so unique about their friendship though, is one friendship does not work without the other. It’s the friends as a whole that make them so endearing. Not until I started planning Nash’s first birthday party did I understand that kind of friendship. The five girls I plan this party with are all amazing on their own. I would consider each of them a dear friend all by themselves, but it’s something about all of them together that’s truly something to see. I used to pride myself on being a guys’ girl. Most of my close friends were guys. I always thought women were kind of, well, ridiculous. I had my core girlfriends that I could count on one hand and that’s all I wanted. I’m friends with one who doesn’t like the other or the only thing they had in common was their friendship to me. With these girls, it’s different. They are like a motor, take out one part and it won’t run. I called them the dream team at last years’ party because they truly are. I 100% think these girls could run the world. We have had a private message going on Facebook for about a year and a half now. I started it to talk about the party plans we were making, things we needed to do. It was like a check in of sorts. I had no idea what it would become. This feed could be published! It could be published as a drama and a comedy. Sometimes I’m so amused by what we share with each other I will smile randomly in the middle of the day at the thought of something we shared earlier. With every laugh or emoji sent, there is an equal amount of baby pics, job changes, wedding planning, moving houses, random fears, and sad days. It’s become a place I go to, we all go to, when we want to share anything. Nothing feels real until I share it with them. After Nash’s first party was over, the feed died down. As soon as we started planning again, we picked right up where we left off. It’s nothing to see 48 new messages on my phone. It is why 99% Of the time I have my phone on silent. There is a part in the movie I talked about earlier that I love. Since the women were children they all get together for a sayance of sorts. They wear headdresses, chant and cut there palms and hold them together. Sounds worse then it is! They vow that the secrets of each others’ lives do not leave the outside of their circle. When my niece Chandler wanted to come to one of our many Nash meetings, I knew we had to induct her. She loved Nash so much and has this need to be a part of all things that have to do with him or his party. I wondered what we could do for hats. Natalie suggested Burger King crowns, which I thought was perfect. All of us girls get so excited to meet. I think half the reason Chandler wanted to come, was to see what all the fuss was about. As we all gathered around my dining room table, I told Chandler she needed to listen and listen carefully because we had a secret to share. I dimmed the lights and found the closest thing to tribal music on the radio. I placed a red solo cup attached to a wine handle on the table. I couldn’t find any red juice in the house, so Orange Justice would have to work. We all put our Burger King crowns on (including Crue) and I said, “we are the YaYa sisters, everything spoken at this table stays in the circle.” As the giggling pursued, I told her she needed to follow the rules of the YaYa’s if she wanted to be a part of our meetings. Her eyes were huge, and her smile even bigger, as we all locked hands and I went through the rules. One, anytime you are feeling down or need someone to talk to, you come to us; we are always here. She agreed. Two, you always have the back of any of the other YaYa’s, no matter what. She agreed. Three, everything we share is a secret between just us; she smiled. Lastly, we will be there for you always and whenever you call, and you must do the same. She agreed. I looked around at my friends, all in Burger King crowns, smiling, and as much as it was a silly moment, there was truth in those rules. These girls have been there for me, have had my back, wiped my tears, picked up my slack, and loved me when I found it hard to even love myself. I looked back at Chandler, and I pulled a necklace from my pocket that said, “I carry you in my heart.” Nash’s name was underneath. This was a necklace she had been asking for. She smiled as I put it on her. We all took turns drinking the juice. Then, we all grabbed hands, as we lifted our hands in the air and yelled YAYA!! I’ll never forget that night and I will never forget these ladies. This is a time in my life when it’s a good day if I can connect to anything. Grief has made me colder, numb, and sad. To not only connect with these women, but connect to them in a way I didn’t know I still had in me, well, it’s been the biggest gift in my life, besides Crue, since Nash passed. I lost my son. He was the greatest gift I have ever known, but I gained five friends, five family members, five soul mates. There are so many hysterical quotes in the movie that remind me of us, “I hope this isn’t a real emergency, I only brought one bottle of vodka”, or “I wish I knew then what I know now, and still had those thighs!” “It’s life. you don’t figure it out, you just climb up that beast and ride!” Of all the silly ones, two quotes move me the most. Two really hit home. The first, as I looked at my niece Chandler, came to mind, “some women pray for their daughters to marry good husbands. I pray that my girls will find girlfriends half as loyal and true as the YaYa’s.” As I looked at my friends all giggling and smiling in their crowns, I thought of the last one, “there are people in the world who are here to save you when you need saving, cover your ass when it needs covering, and are always there when you need someone to lean on. We are the mighty YaYa priestesses, let no man put us under!” Natalie, Kasey, Becca, Caroline, and Christina……I love you! Nash, thank you for knowing that I needed them and for sending them to me.