i think what hurts the most about expecting a new baby after the loss of Nash is that it somehow feels like a final goodbye to Nash. I know that probably sounds crazy, but it’ s a huge step in moving on with my life. The birth of this new baby means I will celebrate […]

Rainbows of hope 

If you couldn’t tell from my last two blog entries, I was in a complete state of panic, anxiety, and fear when I wrote them. Trying to deal with the feelings of my unknown future. I think what pushed me into that state of panic was seeing my friend Leslie have her rainbow baby, Alyse. […]


As my due date nears, my anxiety heightens. There are times I am filled with such absolute panic that I have to stop and try to catch my breath so I don’t make myself sick.  I ask myself questions like…What will he look like? Will he look like Nash? Will it bother me if he […]