Good and angry

When the detective called to meet with us, I had a lot of conflicting emotions. On one hand, I wanted to know why his death was ruled positional asphyxia. I wanted to know the events of that day and what lead to my son’s final moments. At the same time, I was horrified to see […]

September 9th, 2014

The night before the 9th, I had a hard time sleeping. This was going to be the first Nash Day that would fall on a weekday. It also was the third Nash Day. Nash’s Facebook page had been quiet for a while. I wasn’t writing as many blogs. I could feel the momentum dying down. […]

Highway to Heaven

So many people have done things for Nash Day that are beyond creative. It amazes me the things people have thought of. A friend of mine, Amanda, wanted to adopt a highway in Nash’s name. When I say a friend, this is a girl I have hung out with maybe 5 times – five times […]


I barely slept the night after I heard the cause of death. My mind was full of mixed emotions. Todd got up in the morning and got ready for work. He had to, he said he needed to keep busy. I, on the other hand, had no intentions of going anywhere. He walked around to […]

My worst nightmare confirmed

No one has ever understood my fear of getting the autopsy results back. People usually say, “Don’t you want to know? If it were me, I would call everyday to see if the results were back.” And, “What is taking so long?” This by far is the thing that I most wish people could have a […]

The forgotten one

You hear it all the time. There is no love like a mother’s love. There is no stronger bond than that between a mother and her child. Is this why when a child dies the first question asked is usually “how is the mother doing?” One of the first questions Todd is asked by people […]

Bridging the difference

From the moment we lost Nash, people were discussing our increased risk for divorce. I’m not kidding, people were even talking about it at the hospital the day he died. Even the funeral home director discussed this with us when we were planning the funeral. Other parents who had lost children reached out to me […]

Expecting hard times

Expecting a baby just two short months after the loss of Nash has brought on a mix of emotions. It’s a unique experience that is hard to explain to others. People expect me to be excited. It’s as if they feel that now we can be happy again. Now we can have the family we […]

My loves

Most people who know Todd and I, or have read my blogs for that matter, know how much our nieces and nephews mean to us. They have done so many sweet, crazy, and even comical things since Nash passed and I can’t help but share some of them. After you read this, I know you […]